What is yom kippur prayer for dead parents?

The prayer you are referring to is Yizkor (יִזְכּוֹר — "May He remember"), a memorial prayer recited on Yom Kippur (and three other yom tovim) for deceased parents and loved ones. It is a heartfelt petition asking God to remember the souls of the departed and bind them in the tzror ha-chayyim (Bundle of Life), in whose merit the living pledge tzedakah (charity) on their behalf.

Key Takeaways

Yizkor is the primary memorial prayer recited on Yom Kippur for deceased parents and loved ones.
The prayer invokes God's mercy to elevate the soul of the departed and grant them rest in Gan Eden (Paradise).
A pledge of tzedakah (charity) is made in the name of the deceased as part of the Yizkor rite.
Yizkor is recited four times a year: Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, Passover (last day), and Shavuot (last day).
There is a widespread custom that those whose both parents are living leave the synagogue during Yizkor, though this is a custom, not strict law.

The Text and Meaning of Yizkor

The Core Prayer

The standard Yizkor text for a father reads:

"Yizkor Elohim et nishmat avi mori [name] ben [grandfather's name] shehalach le'olamo..." יִזְכֹּר אֱלֹהִים נִשְׁמַת אָבִי מוֹרִי... שֶׁהָלַךְ לְעוֹלָמוֹ

"May God remember the soul of my father, my teacher, [name] son of [name], who has gone to his world..."

For a mother, the text uses immi moratti (my mother, my teacher) and bat (daughter of) instead.

The prayer continues asking that his/her soul be bound in the tzror ha-chayyim — the Bundle of Life — alongside the souls of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

The Pledge of Tzedakah

A central feature of Yizkor is the vow to give tzedakah in the merit of the deceased:

"Bishvil sheb'li neder etein tzedakah ba'ado/ba'adah" "Without a formal vow, I pledge charity on his/her behalf."

The phrase "without a formal vow" (b'li neder) is halachically significant — it prevents the pledge from carrying the severe legal weight of a neder (vow), which if unfulfilled would be a transgression [Nedarim 2a].

Connection to Yom Kippur's Theme of Atonement

The recitation of Yizkor on Yom Kippur is deeply connected to the day's theme of atonement. Leviticus 16:30 teaches:

"כִּֽי־בַיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּ֛ה יְכַפֵּ֥ר עֲלֵיכֶ֖ם לְטַהֵ֣ר אֶתְכֶ֑ם מִכֹּל֙ חַטֹּ֣אתֵיכֶ֔ם לִפְנֵ֥י יְהֹוָ֖ה תִּטְהָֽרוּ" "For on this day He shall atone for you, to purify you; from all your sins before God you shall be purified." [Leviticus 16:30]

The belief is that through our prayers and tzedakah on this most sacred day, atonement and zekhut (merit) can be extended even to souls who have departed.

When is Yizkor Recited?

Yizkor on Yom Kippur is recited during Musaf (the additional service), typically after the Torah reading. The timing varies slightly by congregation.

The four times Yizkor is recited annually:

Yom Kippur
Shemini Atzeret (end of Sukkot)
Last day of Passover
Shavuot (second day in Diaspora; first day in Israel)

The Custom of Leaving Synagogue

Those whose both parents are still alive customarily leave the synagogue during Yizkor. Various reasons are given:

To avoid the ayin hara (evil eye) — that the prayer for the dead not "attract" death toward those whose parents live.
Out of respect and sensitivity for mourners.
The Chida (Rabbi Chaim Yosef David Azulai) and other Acharonim (later authorities) discuss this custom, noting it is minhag (custom), not strict halacha.

Some authorities, including certain Sephardic poskim, hold that everyone may remain, since the prayer is a general merit for all souls.

Deeper Significance: Ilui Neshamah

The underlying theology of Yizkor is the concept of ilui neshamah — the elevation of the soul. Even after death, the actions of children and descendants can bring merit and spiritual elevation to a departed soul. This is based on teachings in the Zohar and codified by the Rama (Rabbi Moshe Isserles) in his notes to Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 376:4.

The Talmud [Berakhot 3a] movingly depicts God Himself lamenting the destruction and exile of His people — underscoring that the bond between the living and the dead, between God and Israel, is never severed, and that prayer and memory carry profound power.

For personal guidance on the specific nusach (text) to use, or whether to remain or leave during Yizkor, consult your local rabbi or posek.