What is the Jewish prayer for deceased parents?

The primary Jewish prayers recited for deceased parents are Kaddish (Kaddish Yatom — the Mourner's Kaddish) and Yizkor (the memorial prayer). Kaddish is recited by mourners for eleven months following a parent's death and on each yahrzeit (anniversary of death), while Yizkor is a memorial prayer recited four times yearly on Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret, the last day of Pesach, and the second day of Shavuot.

Key Takeaways

• Kaddish is the central mourner's prayer, recited for 11 months after a parent's death and on the yahrzeit each year.
• Yizkor is a memorial prayer recited communally four times a year in honor of deceased parents and loved ones.
• Neither Kaddish nor Yizkor actually mentions death — Kaddish is a doxology praising God, and Yizkor is a personal memorial pledge.
• Both prayers require a minyan (quorum of ten Jewish adults) to be recited formally.
• Caring for a deceased parent's memory through prayer is considered a profound act of kibud av va'em (honoring one's father and mother).

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The Mourner's Kaddish (Kaddish Yatom)

What It Is

Kaddish (קַדִּישׁ, meaning "holy") is an Aramaic doxology — a declaration of God's greatness — that has become the quintessential mourner's prayer. Remarkably, it contains no mention of death, loss, or grief. Instead, it praises God's name, affirming faith even in the midst of sorrow.

The core opening lines read:

יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא "May His great Name be magnified and sanctified..."

When It Is Recited

• For eleven months (not twelve, so as not to imply the parent was among the worst sinners who receive a full year of judgment) following a parent's death [Rama, Yoreh De'ah 376].
• On every yahrzeit (annual anniversary of death) each year thereafter.
• At all three daily prayer services: Shacharit, Mincha, and Ma'ariv.
• Recitation requires a minyan (quorum of ten Jewish adults).

Why Kaddish for Parents?

The practice is rooted in a famous story in the Talmud and later sources. Rabbi Akiva encountered a soul suffering in the afterlife, who told him that if his son would recite Kaddish publicly, it would ease his judgment [Kallah Rabbati; also cited in Or Zarua]. This established the idea that a child's public sanctification of God's name brings merit (zekhut) to the deceased parent's soul.

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Yizkor (Memorial Prayer)

What It Is

Yizkor (יִזְכֹּר, meaning "May He remember") is a personal memorial prayer in which one asks God to remember the soul of the deceased. It is typically accompanied by a pledge of tzedakah (charity) in the merit of the departed soul.

A typical formula reads:

יִזְכֹּר אֱלֹהִים נִשְׁמַת אַבִּי מוֹרִי / אִמִּי מוֹרָתִי... "May God remember the soul of my father/mother, my teacher..."

When It Is Recited

Yizkor is recited four times a year:

1. Yom Kippur
2. Shemini Atzeret (end of Sukkot)
3. Last day of Pesach
4. Second day of Shavuot (first day in Israel)

Custom of Leaving the Sanctuary

There is a widespread minhag (custom) for those whose parents are both living to leave the synagogue during Yizkor, so as not to tempt the evil eye (ayin hara). However, this is a custom only, and many authorities note it has no strong halachic basis.

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El Malei Rachamim (Memorial Prayer at the Grave)

Another important prayer is El Malei Rachamim (אֵל מָלֵא רַחֲמִים — "God, full of compassion"), a solemn prayer for the soul's rest recited at funerals, at gravesites, and during Yizkor services. It asks God to grant the deceased's soul menucha nechona (true rest) under the wings of the Shekhinah (Divine Presence).

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Halachic Context: Mourning Practices

The Torah itself establishes that mourning rites are appropriate, though with limits. [Deuteronomy 14:1] states: "You are children of the LORD your God — you shall not gash yourselves or shave the front of your head because of the dead" — indicating that grief must be expressed within boundaries that affirm our relationship with God.

Following a burial, the Shulchan Arukh [Yoreh De'ah 376:4] details customs performed — including handwashing and the recitation of Kaddish — which contextualize ongoing prayer for the deceased within a structured framework of mourning and remembrance.

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For personal guidance on mourning practices, Kaddish obligations, or Yizkor customs specific to your community, please consult your local rabbi or posek.